And so, life began 3 million years ago when multicoloured goo started to coagulate, mate, gestate, eventually sealing it's fate in a woven mess of skin and bones that we now call THE HUMAN. Gene's have been added and deleted equipping us with both brains and beauty. But there's one gene that now fails to be seen.
Why have we been nibbled down to our nubs? After all, our tails were the source of our locomotions, they enabled our tree swinging and aided our balance. Perhaps more importantly, they were our most vital tool for social signalling, clearly indicating our emotions and catalysing our courtship. Did evolution trip up along the way? We decided it's time to find out.
After many recently conducted experiments within the London community, it has been proven that tails still do all of the above with just one common side effect...the sudden onset of mischievous and in the more discerning of human beings, extreme silliness. On behalf of anyone who has ever suspected that they are not complete, we must act fast.
Let us now work together, hit the streets, hold on to the summer AND WIGGLE OUR WAGGLES TILL WE CAN'T WIGGLE NO MORE!
Embrace the tail magic and never let it go again!