We at Telltails are on a quest to help the finest festival goers and party people find their inner ferity by providing them with their outer tail. We believe that everyone has a tail in them just waiting to be wagged, a residual longing not quite expelled from the evolutionary process.
Why have we been nibbled down to our nubs? After all, our tails were the source of our locomotion, they enabled our tree swinging and aided our balance. Perhaps more importantly, they were our most vital tool for social signalling, clearly indicating our emotions and catalysing our courtship. Did evolution trip up along the way?
We have decided to undo 'Natures greatest mistake’ and thus have become purveyors of the finest handmade tails for Bipeds in the UK. Our extensive range of tails are unrivalled in design and quality and we pride ourselves on being the only company in the UK supplying these unique products.
These tails have been road tested by only the coolest cats and dogs in the kennel with one resounding conclusion…
It’s time to get our waggle on.
The Tailors x
Pronunciation: /Tell tel/
An appendage which protrudes from the posterior or is prolonged beyond the rest of the body. Related
to radical frivolity and acts of spontaneity. Increases rhythmic movement and catalises courtship.
“ Through the millennia, through this endless perpetuity of survival of the fittest, through the inexplicably complex process of mutation and adaptation in persuit of the perfect being I can note only one perceivable error, perhaps natures greatest mistake. WHERE ARE OUR WAGGLERS??”
(Darwin. C, 1881}